[Lou Derederian]

Joana

No light no music
Just wine
And you
Laughing at me
Because I’m only a clown in the circus of the world
No light no music
Another glass of wine
And you still there
And I wonder why you didn’t already runaway
So I do my best
To extend this moment
As long as I can
No light no music
This is the last glass of wine
And you
Looking at me
With something in your almond eyes
That makes me feel
As the luckiest guy of night
No light no music
And there is no wine anymore
But as long you will be there
No matter that there is no music
No lights
No wine
No moon
No cigarets
No fresh fruits
No art and no
Poetry
Because as long you will continue
To laugh
To look at me with your almond eyes
And to pass your hand in your hair
The earth can be flat
Or round
Or even triangle
That has no importance
I’m just glad to walk with you in the middle of the night
Without even knowing where we’re going
No money in my pocket
No battery in my phone
And this is the way I feel free

[derrierelemiroir]

Salut Lou,

Petits commentaires en te lisant:

And I wonder why you didn’t already runaway

J'enlèverais le "And" et le "already"

As the luckiest guy of night

Like the luckiest guy of the night

And there is no wine anymore

je mettrais plutôt "and there is no wine no more"

But as long you will be there

but as long as

No matter that there is no music

Je pense pas que tu puisses abréger "it does not matter" par "no matter"

Because as long you will continue

as long as

And this is the way I feel free

j'enlèverais le "And"

Je sais pas trop comment commenter autrement. Est-ce que c'est plutôt une chanson ou un poème? Le vocabulaire est assez simple mais je ne connais pas ton niveau en anglais et je ne sais pas quel était ton but. Peut-être que tu peux un peu élaborer là-dessus?

A bientôt