[Phenixa]

Just writing something, like sometimes I just take a piece of paper and write things that pass in my head. I hope that you'll like it

My breath of life has been torn from me. The whole world was still breathing and it's like if I didn't know how to breathe. I just want to disappear. No one could dry my tears. I even don't remember if I cried. My life has been split in two: before, when he was there and now. The crual now. And the life of before would be forsaken, forever. Nothing could be done to bring him back. Because he was gone. Death take us all. We born to die. He was dead. And death will take me, by my own hand. It would change almost nothing, I was already death, my heart was broken. But I don't even know if I have one. My soul was gone and living in that body, it was mine a day, these hands... all. Now, all his foreign for me. My wish is to sleep and never wake up, stay in a dream, away from the reality. A dream where he was still there.

[Mogdhorel]

Hello,

I personally think that your text is too much classical and lack of originality.
Ok, your writing is not bad and I haven't seen any error but I think we can read that on every love story.

But I also have to admit that I'm not a big fan of romance 

A+
Mog

[Phenixa]

Oh yeah I know that, I agreed 10000000000%, it's very like ''stereotype''. I just thought: let's pratice my English and write something.

Just have nothing to do and sometimes I just have to write what I think

Thank you for your opinion

[Rouflaquette]

I'll try to give my thoughts about your novel in english, but my level is prety low. I like your text, firstly because it's very understandable, and secondly because I like the atmosphere instilled ( I searched for it ) by your text. If I could make a critic, it would be that you should go deeper in your description of the character's feelings.