Bon si c'est trop long, on le supprimera
Un poème que j'ai trouvé super ! mais je l'ai lu en VF dans le recueil "Les jours s'en vont comme des chevaux sauvage dans les collines"
voilà la version VO (que j'ai pas encore lu) trouvé sur le net
Bukowski, Charles:these mad windows that taste life and cut me if I go through
them [from The Days Run Away Like Wild Horses Over the Hills (1969), Black
Sparrow Press]
1 I've always lived on second and third floors or higher
2 all my life
3 but I got some woman pregnant
4 and since she wasn't my wife
5 we moved over here---
6 we were in the back at first
7 2nd floor rear
8 as Mr. and Mrs.---
9 a new start---
10 and there was a madwoman in this
11 place and she kept the shades drawn
12 and hollered obscenities in the dark
13 (I thought she was pretty sharp)
14 but they took her away one day
15 and we moved in here and had the baby,
16 a beautiful skunk of a child with pale blue eyes
17 who made me swallow my heart like a cherry in a
18 chilled drink,
19 but the woman decided I was insane too
20 and moved the child and herself to Hollywood
21 and I give them what money I can---
22 but most of the time I lay around all day
23 sweating in bed
24 wondering how much longer I can fool them
25 listening to my landlord outside
26 watering his lawn
27 46 years hanging on my bones
28 and big green tears cascade ha, ha,
29 down my face and are tabulated by my dirty pillow:
30 all those years shot through the head
31 assassinated forever
32 drunk senseless
33 hobbled and slugged in factories
34 poked with bad dreams
35 dripping away in mouse- and ghost-infested rooms
36 across an America without meaning,
37 boy o boy.
38 about 3 p.m. I get up
39 having failed to sleep but more than a few minutes
40 anyhow
41 and then I put on an old undershirt
42 crisp fresh torn shorts
43 and a pair of stolen army pants
44 and I pull up the shades
45 and sit a little back in a hard folding chair
46 near a window on the streetside
47 and then they come by,
48 young girls
49 fresh fluid divine intelligent
50 drinks of orange juice
51 rides in air-conditioned elevators,
52 in blue and green and yellow in motion
53 in red in waves
54 in squads and battalions of laughter
55 they laugh at me and for me,
56 old 46, at attention, pig green eyes
57 like a Van Gogh bursting and breaking
58 the trachea and tits of the earth and the sun,
59 my god, look, here I am
60 and no matter what I said to them
61 they would run away
62 I would be reported as an old goof
63 babbling in the marketplace for hard pennies---
64 they expect me to use the bathroom,
65 a shadow-picture for their singing flesh
66 and the pliers of my hand---
67 a good citizen jacksoff, votes, and looks at Bob Hope---
68 and even old maids
69 with husbands killed
70 making swivel chairs in industry
71 they walk by
72 in green in yellow in red
73 and they have bodies like high-school girls
74 they perch on their stilts and dare me to break
75 custom
76 but to have any of these would take weeks and months
77 of torture---introduction, niceties, conversation that
78 cleaves the soul like a rusty axe---
79 no, no, god damn it! no more!
80 a man who cannot adjust to society is called a
81 psychotic, and the boy in the Texas tower
82 who shot 49 and killed 15 was one,
83 although in the Marine Corps he got the o.k.
84 to go ahead---it's all in the way you're dressed
85 and if the beehive says the project
86 protects the Queen and Goodyear Rubber and so
87 forth,
88 but the way I see it from this window
89 his action was nothing extraordinary or
90 unexpected and psychiatrists are just paid liars
91 of a continuing social
92 disorder.
93 and soon I get up from the window
94 and move around
95 and if I turn on the radio
96 and luck on Shostakovich or Mahler
97 or sit down to type a letter to the president,
98 the voices begin all around me---
99 "HEY! KNOCK IT OFF!"
100 "YOU SON OF A BITCH! WE'LL CALL THE LAW!"
101 on each side of me are two high-rise apartments
102 things lit at night with blue and green lights
103 and they have swimming pools that everybody has
104 too much class to get into
105 but the rent is very high
106 and they sit looking at their walls
107 decorated with pictures of people with chopped-off
108 heads
109 and wait to go back to
110 WORK,
111 meanwhile, they sense that my sounds are not
112 their sounds---
113 66 people on each side of my head
114 in love with Green Berets and piranhas---
115 "GOD DAMN YOU, COOL IT!"
116 these I cannot see through my window
117 and for this I am glad
118 my stomach is in bad shape from drinking cheap wine,
119 and so for them
120 I become quiet
121 I listen to their sounds---
122 their baseball games, their comedies, their quiz shows,
123 their dry kisses, their kindling safety,
124 their hard bodies stuffed into the walls and murdered,
125 and I go to the table
126 take my madman's crayons
127 and begin drawing them on my walls
128 all of them---
129 loving, fucking, eating, shitting,
130 frightened of Christ, frightened of poverty,
131 frightened of life
132 they crawl my walls like roaches
133 and I draw suns between them
134 and axes and guns and towers and babies
135 and dogs, cats, animals, and it becomes
136 difficult to distinguish the animal from the
137 other, and my whole body sweats, stinks,
138 as I tremble like a liar from the truth of things,
139 and then I drink some water, take off my clothing and
140 go to bed
141 where I will not sleep
142 first pulling down all the shades
143 and then waiting for 3 p.m.
144 my girls my ladies my way
145 with nothing going through and nothing coming in and
146 nothing going out, Cathedrals and Art Museums and
147 mountains wasted, only the salt of myself, some ants,
148 old newspapers, my shame, my shame
149 at not having
150 killed
151 (razor, carcrash, turpentine, gaspipe)
152 (good job, marriage, investments in the market)
153 what is left of
154 myself.
