In our world—our societies—beauty has vanished. It has been killed, and some dare to act surprised as if they did not expect the consequences of it, as if they were not responsible, as if it was completely new and unexpected for them. People today focus only on what makes them fear, what makes them complain, and when one rare and brave enough soul tries to show the little beauty and hope they can still find anywhere in life, those same people simply don’t listen, turn away, and keep complaining as if they had no role in this whole affair. Beauty is gone from our world; now people live in a world of ugly persons, ugly faces, ugly stories, and ugly future. They are so eager to blame the presidents, the CEOs, the racists, and many others, but it is so easy for them to just use those people as scapegoats to avoid recognizing their own guilt in being unable and unaware to do anything to actually change the situation. The only thing they do is share Instagram stories, and then take you hostage if you don’t, as if it will magically solve everything. And when one tries to act in a more impactful, but at first less noticeable way, they simply don’t even take the time to listen, acknowledge, and recognize efforts different than so-called theirs. They just look away, and keep acting as if they did not see it coming, as if they were innocent. I have lost all respect I had for the people concerned who became like this, for their behavior is holding consequences that affect people who deserve to be loved, and who try to do their best while being mainly alone in an unrecognizable world that doesn’t act like theirs.
That’s what I’m trying to do. That’s my whole reason for doing what I’m doing. That’s the only thing that gives sense to my life. I try as much as I can to show people the beauty that can still be found in invisible things. I would wish to say that I have tried, and that if people did not listen then it’s not my business. But this is everyone’s business. No matter who is responsible, no matter “who started the fire,” no matter whose fault it allegedly is. We are in this all together, and I cannot just say that I have tried and did my part of the job and that now it’s your turn to do yours; because the truth is no matter who does the job, there will be nothing after if no one does it. We will not have the opportunity to reflect on whose fault it was if we just don’t do it, no matter who that “we” is. It would be irresponsible.
I can hardly describe myself the amount of grief and respect I feel towards the very few people left today that are in fact aware, open, and simply respectful, and who have to evolve alone in such a world. I wonder if it has always been like this in humanity’s history, but no matter the answer, I hold no respect for the majority of ridiculous and pathetic disrespectful people who don’t know what to do with their pointless lives, and then just blindly follow on blaming the others. I understand that it is very hard for them too, I understand that their feelings also come from somewhere. I never said that I was legitimate in my statements. But they are the reasons why so many people struggle to freely become who they want to be, and why the few that achieved that are alone today. And then there is sometimes a wonder as to why I keep such emotional attachment to the very few that I respect, as to why I sometimes can’t get over them, as to why I seem to love them too fast and too strong, as to why I am so afraid of losing them, and not just missing them. Just look around. I want to love those people the way I do because this is the one thing I fully have left. I would accept compromises on everything else, but I refuse to censor my own love when it is the only thing fully mine that I can freely give to whoever I estimate deserves it. Those people deserve love, and someone has to at least show them, if they don’t want to have it given to them, in which case I would totally understand. I am tired to act as if I respected the people I don’t just to look nice, just not to lose hope and wish it might work in the end. I don’t want to be too hard on people, but when I meet some who I genuinely love, I can’t help but wonder why are they alone, what has been my place in all of this, and what have I been doing with those I’m not honest with. The world no longer shows love, the world no longer expresses beauty, and if we—as the only living beings in billions and billions of kilometers around—don’t show love, then the precious lovely people will all be gone, and we will just have to contemplate our dead body, asking what went wrong and pretending that we did not see it coming. That is what I am seeking. I am not seeking for quality; I am seeking for beauty. Beauty is today a transparent visor stained with our blood.
We have killed beauty, and the few beautiful people left now have to deal with its ghost.
