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Le Monde de L'Écriture » Encore plus loin dans l'écriture ! » Textes non francophones » In the Forest

Auteur Sujet: In the Forest  (Lu 2448 fois)

Hors ligne martlet

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In the Forest
« le: 19 avril 2007 à 22:44:30 »
(texte à lire a voix haute)

This is the story of man and nature, of love and hate, of the dim sun and the bright moon.
This is the story of a man and his love, of a woman and her heart.
It starts in the forest...


The forest is alive. Like a person, she breaths through her trees, she flutters through her leaves, she screams with the wind. She cries with the rain.

***

Aàla had been laying on the small bed for three days, her broken heart beating against her chest like a hammer crushing a chest. She did not cry. It would not do to cry like a baby, so close to the end.

Kaden had been walking in the forest for three days, torch in hand, his panting heart beating against his breast like an arrow piercing a beast. He did not cry. It would not do to cry like a woman, so close to the end.

---

Aàla was a special bird. She was fair and frail, lovely and wordy. Her face was heart-shaped, her heart was shattered. She had long dark hair and a clean white skin and the smell of her...and the scent of her...

She used to walk in the forest, light-footed, sun-flooded, she climbed in the trees and laughed at her follies. One day she met a god, the forest-god. Part tree, part bee. Part worm, part worn.

It fell in love with her. She denied it.
It took a piece of her heart, not without guilt.

For a day and a night, no one could bring her back.

She was lying in the shadows of an old spruce tree, when Kaden found her first.
He took her to Cerdwin, who extinguished her thirst.

They called for Caedmon.

«  She only has half of a heart », he said. « She can’t stay in this hearth. »

Kaden built a small hut for her, out of dead wood and leaves. But when he saw Caedmon standing, he could not help but bade him leave.

Seeing his distress, Cerdwin came to him.

« We must wake the others, and find this forest-god.
    The pain in her heart, is more than a little odd »


Caedmon had led the tribe for as long as anyone could remember. Cerdwin had come to him first, begging, pleading, beseeching.

« Take my heart », she said. « Take my soul, for without her I shall not live »

Caedmon would not listen. None of them would.

Kaden had come to him next. He stood still, his features strained with the pain, tense with the shame.

« Take my arms », he said. « Take my soul, for without her I cannot breath »

Caedmon did not listen. None of them did.

« Stay to the side of hers,
       I will fetch enough wood to build a score fires »

On this Cerdwin left the hut, her husband, and the world, to begin her walk along a path of mud. For two days and two nights, she did not dare look back.

She asked the plants, the birds, the boars.
     « Help me, tell me, where is this god of yours ».

With no luck, all answers were the same.
     « Go back, get back, for this path is not yours ».

But the forest-god had heard her, and in the evening came to her.

« Lady », he said. « I have half of a heart, yet I need one full.
      Will you help me with that, so all the forests I may rule »

---

Kaden was chilled, cradling his daughter in his arms. So tightly that he was afraid he might do her harm. When he realized his wife would not come back, he took his bow and fixed it on his back.

On this he left the hut, his daughter, and the world, to begin his walk along a path of mud. For three days and three nights, he wandered in the dark.

---

Aàla layed on her small bed, sweating from her forehead to her feet.

Kaden walked in the forest, wondering why she was not fit.

While his vision was blurring, the forest-god came to him, Cerdwin laying in his arms, sleeping.

« I have two halves of a heart, when I need one full.
      I will give you these parts, if you give me yours. »

Kaden looked it in the eyes, pulse racing, chest ablaze.

« Fire is all you will get, thus my revenge will be complete. »

He threw his torch at the forest-god, whose scream of pain was heard abroad. The wooden body split open, revealing two priceless gems.

One of them he gave to Cerdwin, for it was also her win. The other he gave his daughter, for she was the fire, which had defeated the forest-god. This against all odds.


***

The forest was alive. Like a person, she breathed through her trees, she fluttered through her leaves, she screamed with the wind. She cried with the rain. She grew old.

This was the story of man and nature, of love and hate, of the dim sun and the bright moon.
This was the story of a man and his love, of a woman and her heart.
It ended in the forest...

« Modifié: 21 avril 2007 à 14:06:08 par martlet »

Hors ligne Marygold

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Re : In the Forest
« Réponse #1 le: 19 avril 2007 à 22:59:02 »
Je n'ai pas tout compris, notamment les affinités entre les différentes personnes (Caedmon et Cerdwin sont pour moi des mystères...) mais j'ai énormément aimé le style et la poésie qui en émane.
Des phrases comme "She used to walk in the forest, light-footed, sun-flooded, she climbed in the trees and laughed at her follies." ont un rythme merveilleux qui colle parfaitement avec ton histoire, sans compter le prologue et l'épilogue que j'ai beaucoup aimé.

Bon, il ne me reste plus qu'à dérouiller mon anglais pour encore mieux apprécier tes textes ;)
Oh yeah ! 8)

Hors ligne martlet

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Re : In the Forest
« Réponse #2 le: 20 avril 2007 à 11:35:28 »
Alors oui je suis d'accord avec toi, ce n'était pas forcément très clair, mais j'ai écris tout d'une traite hier soir et je n'avais pas du tout prévu que mon texte tournerait comme ça. Je voulais faire une longue nouvelle en prose, et je me retrouve avec un texte court hybride prose/vers  :o

Aussi, il y avait plein de flash-back / flash-forward et dans un texte aussi court c'est difficile de s'y retrouver.

J'ai donc remis tout dans l'ordre et j'ai clarifié le role de chacun. En esperant que ce soit comprehensible par quelqu'un d'autre que moi  :-°

Hors ligne Marygold

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Re : In the Forest
« Réponse #3 le: 20 avril 2007 à 12:02:48 »
Ah là, oui, j'ai beaucoup mieux compris !! :)

Cerdwin est la femme de Kaden, et Aàla leur fille... (avant je croyais que c'était Aàla sa femme... ::)) Voyons si j'ai bien compris :
Citer
One of them he gave to Caedwin
C'est Cerdwin là, non ?

J'aime bien le petit flash-forward du début (d'ailleurs je ne connaissais pas le terme) J'adore le parallèlisme - comme d'autres dans ton texte - il renforce le côté dramatique.
Oh yeah ! 8)

Hors ligne martlet

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Re : Re : In the Forest
« Réponse #4 le: 20 avril 2007 à 12:14:52 »
Citer
One of them he gave to Caedwin
C'est Cerdwin là, non ?

lol oui c'est une erreur. Je du mal avec les noms celtes  >:(

J'aime bien le petit flash-forward du début (d'ailleurs je ne connaissais pas le terme) J'adore le parallèlisme - comme d'autres dans ton texte - il renforce le côté dramatique.

C'est la sensation que je voulais faire passer. *heureux*

 


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