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Encore plus loin dans l'écriture ! => Textes non francophones => Discussion démarrée par: ManonS le 05 juillet 2012 à 21:14:24

Titre: Now It’s Impossible
Posté par: ManonS le 05 juillet 2012 à 21:14:24

When you tell me
That you love me
I'd like to believe you,
And tell you I do too.

But now it’s impossible.

I am too confused,
And you can't find a good excuse

But now it’s impossible.

I can’t forgive you,
Now tell me,
Tell me something true,
Prove me
That I made
A mistake...

But now it’s impossible.

What about the time
When it was me and you?
What about the time
When we were two?

But now it’s impossible.

You’re voice,
Was a sweet noise
But now it’s just a scream
That breaks all my dream!
I am sad

But it’s over,

You lost every chances you had,
Forever....
You will never be the same,
So just forget my name...

Titre: Re : Now It’s Impossible
Posté par: Lunawen le 05 juillet 2012 à 23:59:41

Citation de: ManonS le 05 juillet 2012 à 21:14:24

When you tell me
That you love me
I would believe you,
And tell you «I love you too».

Bon alors la "I would believe you je pense que je mettrais plutôt I'd like to believe you qui me paraît grammaticalement plus correct.
Sinon " An tell you "I love you too" c'est trop français il faudrait plus mettre And tell you I do too je pense

Citer

But now it’s impossible.
I am too confused,
You can’t find a good excuse,

J'aurais plutôt mis and you can't find a good excuse  mais sinon c'est correct

Citer

But now it’s impossible.
I can’t forgive you,
Now tell me,
Tell me something true,
Prove me
That I make
A mistake...

Alors j'adore ce passage ^^, mais c'est I "made" a mistake

Citer

But now it’s impossible.
What about the time
When it was me and you?
What about the time
When we was two?

Okay alors when we was two ça devrait être when we "were" two

Citer

You’re voice,
Was a sweet noise
But now it’s just a scream
That break all my dream!
I am sad

Your voice was a sweet noise (j'aurais plutôt mis sound")
that breaks all my dreams (n'oublie pas les "s"^^)

Citer

You lost all the chances you had,
Forever....
You will never be the same,
So just forget my name...

you lost every chances you had est plus correct je pense mais c'est juste moi je suis loin d'être bilingue mais c'est ce que je dirais voilà  ^^
Sinon très joli poème j'aime beaucoup comment tu fais ressortir les sentiments

Titre: Re : Now It’s Impossible
Posté par: ManonS le 08 juillet 2012 à 22:41:58

merci ! j'ai modifié