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Encore plus loin dans l'écriture ! => Textes non francophones => Discussion démarrée par: tentacule_du48 le 16 Août 2024 à 13:58:44

Titre: ( ''hand clapping'')
Posté par: tentacule_du48 le 16 Août 2024 à 13:58:44
Serving cabbage soup to a brain that still hasn't understood that I need to hit my head against the wall, but not just any wall, not for fun, but as a kind of prayer, in fact as if I'd received too much love that I didn't deserve, so I hit my head against a red wall, again! three times, thirty times... but it's not enough, and I mustn't close my eyes in the face of this sensation, in the face of this action... it's my complex mechanism, linked to the torture of my sewing machine... I mustn't let anyone distract me or put pity on my shoulder... You have to let me do it... I'm  n o t  g o i n g  to  k i l l  m y s e l f,  I'm not crazy, I just don't want to be soft... I'm hitting the third wall of my imaginary kidnapper... a head without a bandage is a piece of paper blown away by the wind... I've got to wake up full of pebbles and no memory... I have to open my eyes and find myself in the middle of the sea, building corridors... it's three in the morning... in an hour I'll be hitting my head against the wall... I'm waiting for that beautiful pain... I promised myself a bouquet of flowers...
Titre: Re : ( ''hand clapping'')
Posté par: marécage désolé le 20 Août 2024 à 13:54:49
bonjour

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hH1j06bMHDQ (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hH1j06bMHDQ)
Titre: Re : ( ''hand clapping'')
Posté par: Beglous le 21 Août 2024 à 17:11:53
Hi Tentacule,

I was wondering if english was used to hide something...

Some interesting images, such as "a head without a bandage is a piece of paper blown away by the wind".
What's bothering me is the kind-of overused "have to" "must/musn't". I find it altering the poetic's potential of the text.
Also, it kinda sounds like a french speaker using english in a superficial way and not like a langage of itself. For example : too much "that" in the first sentence.
Maybe this kind of text, this kind of idea, needs some company - some background or some other cell-text like this one - so it gets interesting to someone else. See what I mean ?

Thanks for sharing.
Titre: Re : Re : ( ''hand clapping'')
Posté par: tentacule_du48 le 21 Août 2024 à 20:12:04
Hi Tentacule,

I was wondering if english was used to hide something...

Some interesting images, such as "a head without a bandage is a piece of paper blown away by the wind".
What's bothering me is the kind-of overused "have to" "must/musn't". I find it altering the poetic's potential of the text.
Also, it kinda sounds like a french speaker using english in a superficial way and not like a langage of itself. For example : too much "that" in the first sentence.
Maybe this kind of text, this kind of idea, needs some company - some background or some other cell-text like this one - so it gets interesting to someone else. See what I mean ?

Thanks for sharing.


hi Beglous

SO in fact your point about the text potentially sounding like a French speaker using English superficially is in a way insightful... yes and the text was originally in French, and a friend translated it for me, which might explain some of the awkwardness...

AND  if you’re interested, my friend who translated the text also did a reading in English. It might offer a different perspective and capture some nuances better.

https://youtu.be/-I5KNOdeKhY?si=iRm2f2hzK-RSn6a- (https://youtu.be/-I5KNOdeKhY?si=iRm2f2hzK-RSn6a-)


THANK YOU :)
Titre: Re : ( ''hand clapping'')
Posté par: Beglous le 22 Août 2024 à 15:02:12
Hi Tentacule,

Citer
the text was originally in French, and a friend translated it for me
What for ?

About the reading, well... I'm here for the writing.

Have a nice way around ;)