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Encore plus loin dans l'écriture ! => Textes non francophones => Discussion démarrée par: sarah_lutt le 22 juillet 2020 à 14:47:54

Titre: wither
Posté par: sarah_lutt le 22 juillet 2020 à 14:47:54
As the peonies you put on your table
I will wither
I will wither
As soon as you will say you love her
I shouldn't be so weak
You made me so sick
You are the baddest music
As the peonies you put on your table
I will wither
I  will wither
As soon you'd come over
haven't I already died
The day where the roses lied
Titre: Re : wither
Posté par: Ombelline le 09 août 2020 à 12:39:00
Without much context as to the existence of this text, I'll just say I like its melody. It's brief, but the repetitions help create an atmosphere, and I liked the rhymes that are not that common in English poetry.
Not sure though if you really meant to use "baddest" or, if it was more "worst" that you wanted. Either way it works, but it doesn't mean the same thing.