[Dot Quote]

Désolé, vous n'êtes pas autorisé à afficher le contenu du spoiler.

.
far sea trap
#poetry #serious joke #beliefs in dreams #earth as my sun


far sea trap
is : when your trip
drown in a nap,
when on my lip
you let a smack
hit, as the hype
see flat the map...

your boat falls down
where born the dawn,
eternity ending the sheet,
never signed on a phone beat,
no lungs are blown,
mine are so brown
i cough on seat,
my back is no right
training the meat,
my flesh go on
until coffin,
there, i try to
breath, out and in,
failing to do
the living thing,
my corpse's moving,
i'm so weirdo
it hurts your sins
and you finally bring a ring
closing all the issues
in vain droping wings

the sun is up
when it's not under your look,
under your feet, by stranger loop...
graal is the cup
i let you fill, with your own soup,
and drink it all !
euphoric shoot
smiles for nothing,
miraculous mood
makes your steps, on
this water glass, which
doesn't wet your ass

from the empty...
dq

[Michael Sherwood]

Hello Dot Quote!

Sympa cette poésie, assez déjantée, mais finalement pas tant que ça car on comprend  des choses  !

2-3 petites fautes :
- your boat fall down -> your boat falls down (présent) / your boat fell down (passé simple)

- i'm so weirdo it's hurt your sins -> i'm so weirdo it hurts your sins (présent) / i'm so weirdo it hurt your sins (passé simple)
A moins que tu veuilles dire : it's hurt your sins = contraction de : it has hurt your sins  (mais le passé composé est copié du français dans ce cas.)

- on  this water glass, wich doesn't wet your ass -> on this water glass, which doesn't wet your ass

Bye  !

[Dot Quote]

yoyo Michael,

awiwiwi le s de la troisième je m'y ferai jamais merci

huhu déjanté ça me flatte, content que tu y aies saisi les images floutement glissées sans vrai gros sens

++

[Michael Sherwood]

It hurts, man !
Not it's hurts: that hurts the Left Hand side of my brains  !

[Dot Quote]